Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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