Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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