We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
