great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
