...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
