Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
