It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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