She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
