dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
