YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
