yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
