tell your sister to shave her snatch
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
