she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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