i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A bitchslap is in order.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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