i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
