if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
