She is in my trunk
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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