Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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