I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
