I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
