Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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