i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
