I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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