we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
