shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Houston, we have a squirter
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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