I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
