i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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