Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
