We won't sleep together?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
