I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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