you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
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