yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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