She's JV to your varsity
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
