he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
