I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
