he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
