Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
