In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
