Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need a beard to bite.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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