Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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