She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
