i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
