do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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