Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
