you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
