Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
