Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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