Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just had sex on a roof
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
