The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
