Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
